Salutations & surnames

Normally the mail only brings bills and junk, but today was different; I received a Birthday and Christmas card! Interestingly, they were both addressed to me with the prefix of Ms., instead of Miss. Since I have never been married, I cannot be called Mrs., so the more liberal point of view is Ms., where it doesn’t disclose any information about my marital status. When filling out an application form for a job interview, I noticed that men only have one option – Mr., when three different options (Mrs., Miss and Ms.) exist for summing up the marital status of women. A man doesn’t have to disclose his marital status since nothing was asked.

Then there’s the issue of when you do get married, whether to change your last name. As more women become open-minded and conscious of the choice they have to keep their maiden name, they often are. This is not only about keeping one’s identity, but about breaking free from the traditional norms. By the time you decide to get married, you may have already spent 20 or 30 years being a Charles and to change that part of your identity is something that many women have chosen not to do. I have two friends who were married recently. One decided to keep her last name because she simply didn’t want to change it and identified herself with being a Barrie, whereas my other friend took her husbands out of tradition and becoming more of a unit or family by sharing the same last name. If I do get married, I will be keeping my last name, because not only it is a part of me, but also because my family has two girls and I don’t want the Charles legacy to end with me.